A Recap of Hell Week

Posted on July 16, 2022

I haven’t written anything in over a month, it’s not because I don;t want to or that I have nothing to say. It’s that it feels overwhelming, that this is too much that has happened and I’ve processed and started to understand so many things now. I’m going to try... [Read More]
Tags: sam goodbye

Top Gun Maverick

Posted on July 7, 2022

I finally decided to go and see the new top gun movie. HOLY SHIT, HOLY SHIT, HOLY SHIT… Top Gun: Maverick is one of the best movies I have ever seen, it had me emotionally invested immediately and it never let up. The movie didn’t rely on the original, it... [Read More]
Tags: movie top gun maverick

The Cottage

Posted on July 2, 2022

Today I left for 2 weeks at the cottage, the day started out ok but once I drove out of the city and got a bit up north I was completely overtaken by flashbacks, memories and familiar places, it was more than I could handle. I had no idea how... [Read More]
Tags: sam goodbye

A Bridge Too Far

Posted on July 1, 2022

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I’d only been here once, it was a little more than 5 years ago. I was finishing work at the same time as Sam so I decided to offer her a ride home. She accepted and on the way asked if I wanted to stop for a coffee and go... [Read More]
Tags: the end

5 Years

Posted on July 1, 2022

5 Years ago today I started dating Sam, instead of writing about how badly I miss her and how much pain I feel, I thought I would give my point of view on our entire relationship, with all the new skills I have learned and what’ve learned about my emotions... [Read More]
Tags: sam me

Bad days are the new norm

Posted on June 29, 2022

Today has been the hardest days I’ve had in a while, I had to get support from Zee again today. I miss Sam so much and I am so scared to go through the next couple of weeks on my own. Every minute of everyday will be a constant reminder... [Read More]
Tags: struggling

No Contact is best for me

Posted on June 28, 2022

I decided not to contact Sam at all, I very much want to but that’s the main problem. I can’t be sure if I want to contact her in hopes of something positive happening between us or if I really am only trying to tie up lose ends. If I... [Read More]
Tags: me stay the course support

Contact and likely conflict

Posted on June 27, 2022

A few unexpected events and I find myself in a unpleasant predicament now. I had no plans of contacting Sam again, especially this week but unless I put her above me yet again, I will have to contact and possibly see her. My plans for the immediate future changed and... [Read More]
Tags: sam irresponsible selfish boundary

A Bad Place

Posted on June 25, 2022

Yesterday was a good day, It felt like I turned a corner in the way I was going to move forward. I made a big realization and was very happy about it, things made a lot more sense to me afterwords. BUT, Life has never really let me have anything... [Read More]
Tags: healing stumble working