Blame

Posted on April 2, 2022

I’ve blamed Sam for everything, I’ve blamed myself for everything and I’ve blamed the despicable outside forces that caused so much damage. There’s more than enough blame to go around and no single person or action is at fault. The truth is no amount of blame has made enduring the... [Read More]
Tags: sam blame useless love loss

Alone, but not lonely

Posted on April 1, 2022

I’ve been asked a few times if I feel lonely, I don’t. I don’t mind being alone, and I would much rather be alone than be in a relationship that I don’t feel I can put my whole heart into.
Tags: sam alone lonely loss

Zee and EL

Posted on March 17, 2022

I really like having both El and Zee on my team. They have completely different styles. Zee and I tend to explore anything and everything Without trying to mindread, we try to explain things that don’t make sense. El and I tend to stay a bit more grounded and try... [Read More]
Tags: help zee el crisis team NEW

Misleading

Posted on March 16, 2022

I think I was misleading EL a bit, we were talking about joining groups or maybe volunteering. My head is thinking “Fuck No” the whole time, but I didn’t really know how to say that. I didn’t want to risk be acceptance to the program. I had no reason to... [Read More]
Tags: help el misleading

Zee 03

Posted on March 15, 2022

Still can’t recall most of what we talked about. I am so emotional but it isn;t as scary to go through all these thoughts with zee. We are exploring all kinds ofdffrent views and perspectives of my relationship with Sam. I’ll try to get more specififc an=botu the things we... [Read More]
Tags: help zee crisis

Group 02

Posted on March 14, 2022

I Had my 2nd group session, the content isn’t really getting through to me. I’m doing my best to not cry and babbling like an idiot.
Tags: group EL

Zee 02

Posted on March 10, 2022

I have no idea what happened during this call, I know we were talking for close to 1.5 hrs.
Tags: help zee crisis

Intro To Eleven (EL)

Posted on March 9, 2022

My frist official session with Eleven, EL for short. I have no idea what we talked about. I am stil so emotionaly charged. I’m not sure why it was diffrent with EL, I di dn’t feel unsafe with her but I didn’t feel comfortable completely opening up. I like her... [Read More]
Tags: help el eleven

Intro to Zee

Posted on March 8, 2022

My frist official session with zee, I have no idea what we talked about. I am stil so emotionaly charged. I’m not sure why, but I feel safe talking to her, I don’t feel like I want to hide anything. That’s not a feeling I am familliar with, I don’t... [Read More]
Tags: help zee crisis