Last year on this day, I lost the most important person I’ve ever had in my life, I lost Sam, I lost Sam because of something that should never have happened in the first place, I look back and I am ashamed of what happened. I’m still deeply in love with Sam and I still miss her pretty much everyday.
All that being said, it was the best day of my life because it brought me to my knees and made me look at everything in my life in a way I never have before. It’s a journey I am on now and while often very painful, I can see how much better relationships can be and the things I want and do not want in my life. I now have an emotion vocabulary and a almost completely opposite view of myself and how I interact with others.
I’m not a bad person, Sam is not a bad person, we tried and we just didn’t have the tools to make it work.