Thought I was Done With This Shit

I know the healing process is never a straight line, but I thought I was done with this $h1t. I have been doing good and moving forward, I understand so much about why I felt and acted certain ways, I’ve let go of trying to understand what and why Sam may have felt or thought, I’ve even been out and had fun a few times. Yet I am still completely caught off guard when it hits me, I am still in love with her and still miss her. I feel stupid that I have these feeling for her, like I should know better and only an idiot would still feel this way.

I know that’s not true, I’m human, what I feel is completely normal and nothing to be ashamed of, every day it gets a tiny bit easier and one day I wont feel that way.