This was Sam’s bread and butter, it didn’t take much for Sam to go cold and refuse to look or speak to me. At times it seemed like she wasn’t even in her body anymore, black eyes, void stare, she was gone, this was always followed with Sam either threatening to love or out right leaving. This happened 100’s of times to varying degrees, but it wasn’t until months after we ended that I realized how badly this action hurt me. Each time this happened it made it harder to trust her, it made me more anxious and at times made me suspicious, warranted or not
This was a massive trigger for me, I would become emotionally dysregulated almost immediately, my anxiety would rocket through the roof, I would lose all control and behave in ways I hated.
Note: I accepted this behavior from her because and told her I wouldn’t leave her for it as long as she was working on it. Sam and I thought that this was an involuntary behavior, meaning she could not control it. I’ve never seen anyone do anything like this before, if she or I were able to pull her back, she would either have no idea what she had done or she was devastated for what she had done.