I was thinking about how Sam and I started our relationship, I had a flood of memories come back.

Within the first 30 days of us dating, Sam did every single action that ended up tearing us apart. I’m not saying that I don’t understand her thinking for the things she did, just that they were present this early. I wonder if I had of said something to her, would things have been different, could we have been different? Did these decisions chart our path right from the start?

San lied to her parents about a lot of things, she made me part of her false narrative. Sam told her parents that she was out with a girl friend a bunch of times, but obviously couldn’t continue that storey for very long. She then told her parents that she was friends with a guy from work, which was true, but an example of Sam manipulating the facts to suit her. She eventually told her parents that she was now dating the guy from work. I can understand most of this. It got much worse when Sam just didn’t bother letting her parents knew she planned to stay over one, which would obviously put any parent into distress. Even after that drama, Sam’s parents were still unaware of the age difference between us.

2 weeks l while Sam was with her parents, I got a phone call ans Sam told me that we were done. T got no explanation just we are done and goodbye. The next day I got another call from Sam who was hysterical now. she told the truth about me and her, but her friend went straight to Sam’s family and told them everything. Sam asked me to come and get her, it was a 7 hr drive, 3.5 hr each way, and I said yes. Over the next 3 days I picked up and dropped off Sam at 3 different houses for her to stay at because she didn’t want to live with her parents. Everyday there was a different reason why she couldn’t stay at each of the places from the night before. So eventually I said she could stay with me until she went back to school.

I didn’t understand any of this while it was happening, I truly believed that Sam had picked me as a life partner, but also knew in the back of my head that Sam was capable of all these things. It’s really hard not to wonder if Sam had just been honest with her parents and given them a chance to be good parents, maybe they wouldn’t have been such a terror to our relationship. It’s crazy that I didn’t see all this back then.