I mentioned to zee that I had this odd feeling that I would hear from Sam again. I had no reason for thinking that I would hear from Sam. The more I thought about it the more I realized something.

For me to accept Sam and my situation, was to tell myself that Sam under some sort of spell
not an actual spell, not like in harry potter, “Ex.. Fiance…”
but a haze or a lack of understanding, parental issues or just needed to have that ah ha moment.

That one day Sam would realize that the way she handled everything and they way her behaviors hurt me, she didn’t know and she wouldn’t have if she knew. I know that’s more of a hope than reality, but it’s very difficult for me to believe that this woman, the woman I love more than life, the woman that absolutely stole my heart could be that much of a monster, and I just don’t want to believe it