Accepting, well kind of

I wasn’t aware how badly I was in denial, it’s well past 7 months and I have not heard a word from her, but for sone reason I was sure I would. I wasn’t being obtuse, I was protecting myself. The only thing I was sure of was I didn’t want to admit what kind of person she was or how little she thought of me. I knew that her actions were something that could never be forgiven, I’m in love with her, I don’t want any of that to be true.