I feel like a bag of sand, this past week was one of the harder weeks I have had. I’ve started to break through the stories I was telling myself. I had heard that sentiment many times, like most things it takes a while for it to sink in. I had been unwilling to accept that she could do this kind of thing, not because she wasn’t capable, because living everyday in pain and suffering is familiar to me, I’ve been in crisis mode to some degree for as long as I have known her. Accepting that she’s gone means letting go of what I know and having to deal with the unknown.