V2 ever sent
Hi Stephanie,
I have no way of knowing how you have been, so know that I am not speaking for you. This is my last contact with you, partially because I have nothing more to say, but in reality you don’t exist anymore, you’re just the memory of a girl I once loved.
It took me 7 months to realize and accept that you really had abandoned me. I absolutely wouldn’t believe that this is what has become of us, but it is, and it’s heartbreaking for a few reasons. We didn’t get here because of that last night, Our relationship didn’t end because of one fight or even 10 fights. We both played our part in this and the idea that this is one person’s fault is simply not true. The idea that one of us is a victim is ridiculous. we don’t have to look very hard to see the pain we caused each other. We spent a fair bit of time talking about what would happen if we did end our relationship. We agreed on a bunch of things and we came up with the cohabitation agreement. I don’t know if you read it or not, it’s so clear that the agreement was written by two people that loved each other very much and wanted to protect and support each other. I wasn’t ready for us to end, I’m not sure I ever would have been. We weren’t blind, we knew we had some decent sized issues to deal with but I never doubted that we would find our way.
There was one thing above everything else that I wanted to protect you from. You’ve never had to go through a break up before. That means there are things you don’t know and I wanted more than anything for it to stay that way. If we absolutely were forced to end, then I wanted you to be able to know how much you were loved and how special you were, that you were always enough. I couldn’t stop you though, you decided to blame me for everything and you decided to force everything between us and almost destroy my world. You decided that I didn’t deserve any kind of conversation or clarity. You decided that I was such a horrible person that I wasn’t worth showing any kind of human decency to. You abandoned me and left me to deal with absolutely everything. You seemed to hate me so much that you weren;t even willing to tell me if I had insurance or not, you didn’t thinkI deserved to know if my wife was going to speak to me again, let me know if my marriage was over. I have felt more pain than I knew was possible, to the point where I can barely remember that you were at least at some point that woman I loved so much. My point is that now that you’ve done this, that you’ve treated someone you loved like this, you know how easy it is to do and that it can happen at any time. Now you know that someone, anyone can do it to you at any time. Now it’s unlikely you will ever be able to fully open your heart and trust anyone completely. I wanted to be able to protect you from that if I only had one thing left to give you.
I love you still and you know I always will. I will heal and I will be ok , but I’ll never be able to forgive you. I don;t ever want to see or hear from you again. Not in 5 years, not ever, I want it to stay the way you made it because I’ve already grieved your death.